It's okay to have feelings

 Lawd have mercy at the mess I can get myself into. I can’t seem to get it right. All I wanted to do was help someone out. Be a friend and have a friend. But that backfired. I ended up feeling like a judgmental Christian when taking a drunk guy to church with me. My kids were mortified, I was embarrassed and he now thinks I’m an horrible person.  I am not a bad person but I refuse to have an alcoholic around me! I dealt with that for over 20 years! No way God would wend me back! I just hope and pray that he can get himself together. It’s a truly heartbreaking ordeal. I really do want to be able to help others. But, alcoholism is an instant shut down for me. I almost vomited at the smell!! My daughter started crying because it reminded her of her dad. My oldest son was just in complete awe that a stranger would thing that was okay.  I knew though. I should have listened to my gut, it’s always right. My instincts were spot on with this one. But something in me wanted to see...

 It's okay to have feelings. Emotions are a part of life. Learning to control them is tough. It's a lot harder than one may think. You have the good days and the bad days. I have been divorced now for 5 years and I am pretty sure that the rollercoaster ride got a lot wilder in these 5 years. It's the back and forth, the not knowing. It's the constant feeling of being unworthy or not good enough.  Is it her or is it me this month. The fact that I have actually allowed myself to get in this situation is embarrassing. That's not love for me or her. That is a confused man that needs to get his act together. I feel like no matter how many times God brings it to his attention, he is going to block it. I truly don't understand how he sees nothing wrong with his actions. At least it's not a different woman every night. But that one he keeps running back to She must be as stupid as I have been. They aren't in love, they are in lust. Both confused as ever. I truly...